Friday, September 5, 2008

You Know You're A Horse Person When...

* Your 5 year old son picks up your snaffle bit and asks if he can use your hand cuffs.

* You insist to your SO during a game of Scrabble that "oxer" is, too, a word, even if it ISN'T in the dictionary, and spend a good half-hour poring over horse books to find it in writing.

* You're at the post office looking at the Santa and his Reindeer cutouts on the wall, and you make a mental note that all the reindeer are hanging their knees and they better get better form if they're going to continue this jumping thing!

* You take someone's temperature and think 102°F is normal.

* If you find yourself drumming horse gaits with your fingers.

* If you will memorize a complete dressage test, but can't remember three important names for your history test.

* The real estate agent asks what kind of house you are looking for and you say "More than six acres".

* You find yourself analyzing leg and foot conformation on your friends, and thinking how corrective shoeing could improve their way of going.

* You can be too sick to go to school but you're never too sick to go riding.

* You can't for the life of you remember the word "heel". That thing on the bottom of your leg that joins it to your foot is called a "hock".

* You get out of bed at 4 am to get ready for a show but can't wake up in time for school.

* You realize that finding a horse shoe truly is lucky because you've saved ten bucks.

* You accept My Space friends instantly if they have a picture of a horse in their profile.

* You see a girl wearing a pair of high-heeled, pointy-toed fashionable boots and when she tells you how much they cost you say,"Wow, you could have bought a nice pair of REAL boots for that!"

* You end up driving your friends everywhere because your big truck can fit them all.

* You've had to explain to said friends what some of the objects in your truck are; "That's a hoofpick..." "Umm, those leather strips are reins..."

* You've answered your cell phone while riding before and had to tell someone, "Hold on a second, my horse is being a brat".

* You can't understand why people can talk about cars for hours, but someone asks about your horse and you can't shut up

* You frequently have to explain things to your non-horsey friends; "No, a pony is NOT a baby horse"; "A farrier has nothing to do with
faeries";"When I said I was training a stud, I meant a horse, stupid!"

* Your friend comes over to watch the Olympics and wants to watch swimming, and you say,"No! David O'Conner just took the oxer and is on his way to the triple combination! " and your friend looks at you like you are crazy.

* None of your friends bother to ask you to the mall on the weekends because you know you'll say, "Are you crazy?! I'm going riding."

* You cluck to your friends, dogs, pets, car, ect. to make them go faster.

* In the kitchen, instead of saying "excuse me" you poke you spouse in the ribs and say "over"

* Your spouse can track dirt into the house all they want, but God help them if they muddy up the tack room.

* you explain to your child's pediatrician that you knew the child was sick because he was off his feed.

* you stop channel surfing at Budweiser Clydesdale commercials.

* You're laughing right now because you know these are true!
 
Enjoy at bit of Friday funnies!  Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
 
Deb Stowers

 

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